applied

31-Oct 2011

Dear Sidney,

Thank you for applying for admissions and scholarships to Utah State University! Your decision to apply is an excellent one.

And

Dear Sidney,

Thank you for submitting your Premier Status Application to Southern Utah University. -I look forward to reviewing your application!

Life

Who are you to tell me i can't? You have no idea what i am capable of. So get out of the way, take a seat, and watch on the sidelines as i chase my dreams.

I survived. I can keep going, keep fighting, keep living. You didn't stop me.

never put in only half the effort. All the way.

Even if your scared, terrified of what they might think. You have the truth on your side, and that's more powerful than the majority

Happy birthday clint. miss you. everyday.

Oh sorry, i wasn't worth your time then. And it's not worth my time now. We're done being friends. Don't come running back to me.

Every time it breaks i will be stronger because of it.

Love and hate this movie. It's beyond adorable. It's everything that i wish i could have. I hate it because it's not real life, and i can't expect mine to be like this.

The world is a gorgeous place. Stop for just a moment and soak it all in. It's overwhelming how wonderful our existence is. always be grateful

I have those regrets. The times i wish that i hadn't stayed silent. I wish i had stood up for myself. Spoke my thoughts. But never again. This moment only comes around once, speak now or forever hold your peace. I choose to speak now.

Why does it always happen at night? I'm fine, strong during the day. But at night i miss you so much it hurts. I wish you were hear right now. I wish i could tell you everything that is going on. Maybe someday i will get up the courage to tell you just how much i miss you, and how hard this is on me.

Be true to yourself. People will come and go out of your life. But you will always have to live with yourself.

I'm so blessed to have you in my life. You make it more beautiful, happy. You're always there for me even when i'm bitter, angry, and hate the world. Thank you

There will always be hard times. I don't want to just wait for it to end to find joy. I want to be happy now, find joy through the pain.

Every day this year. I thought i wasn't going to run this year. Thought i was done. But you changed me, you ran with me. When i was weak, you gave me strength. When i was crumbling, ready to quite, you gave me the courage to go on. When i was frightened of the future, unaware of where my life was going, you showed me that you have a plan for me and it will all be okay. I wouldn't be the runner i am today without you.

No one can tell you to be happy or sad. Forget the backstabbers. they were never your friend anyway. They aren't worth it. Keep your head up and smile

Mold me into the person i'm meant to be.

Exhausted, tired of failing, ready to give up. But no i will keep fighting, because tomorrow will come and I will have more opportunities to be the best person i can be.

Regrets? who needs them. If you don't like who you have become than change it. Become a new person and live the life you want.

It's hard to find the words to tell you exactly how i feel. Thankfully because of the atonement Jesus knows what's going on and how i feel, pray, even when the words don't come.

He's been there before

He's Been There Before

The alarm rings at 6:30; I stumble to my feet.
I grab my companion's bedding and pull off his sheet.
A groan fills the room, is it already time to arise?
It seems like just a second ago I was able to shut my eyes.

The morning activities follow - study, prayer, and such.
When it's time to leave the apartment, you feel you haven't accomplished much.
"We have a super day planned," my comp says with a grin.
I lowly utter a faithless breath, "Yeah, if anyone lets us in."

With the word of God and my faithful Schwinn, we ride off in the street
Prepared to face another day of humidity and heat.
It's 9:30 in the evening, the day is almost through;
My companion and I are riding home, not accomplishing what we thought to do.

We ride up to the mailbox, hoping to receive a lot.
Only to look inside and hear my echo reverberate "Air Box."
We go up to our apartment, the day is now complete.
The only thing to show for our work is a case of blistery feet.

It's past 10:30 PM, my companion is fast asleep.
Silence engulfs me all about and I begin to weep.
In the midst of sadness, I kneel down to pray;
I need to talk to Father, but I'm not sure what to say.

"Oh, Father," I begin, "What happened to us today?
I thought we'd teach somebody, but everyone was away.
My hands, my aching hands - worn, hurt and beat;
If our area was any smaller, we'd have knocked every street."

"Why on missions are the days so much alike?
The only difference about today was the flat tire on my bike.
Will you send some cooler weather? The heat is killing me.
I sweat so bad, it gets in my eyes; It's very hard to see."

"Why do I have to wear a helmet, isn't your protection enough?
People always laugh at me and call me stupid stuff.
Please send us investigators so I may give them what they lack;
I want to give them Books of Mormon, the weight of them hurts my back."

"And what about my family? They don't have much to say,
I'm sick of not hearing from home, day after day after day.
Oh Father, why am I here, am I just wasting time?
Sometimes I just want to go home, I'm sorry but that's on my mind."

"My companion, Heavenly Father, what are you giving me?
The way he rides his bicycle, I don't think he can see.
Now you have it, I can't go on, I don't know what to do;
That, my Father in Heaven, is the prayer I have for You."

My prayer now finished I stand up, then jump right into bed.
I need my rest for tomorrow; we have another long day ahead.
Sleep starts to overtake me, I seem to drift away,
Then it seems a vision takes me to another time and another day.

I'm standing alone on the hill, the view is very nice;
A man walks towards me and says, "My name is Jesus Christ."
Tears of joy well up inside, I fall down to His feet,
"Arise," He states, "Follow Me to the shade - you and I need to speak."

My attention's toward the Savior, total and complete.
He says, "Your mission is similar of what happened to Me,
I understand how you feel, I know what you're going through;
In fact it would be fair to say I've felt the same as you."

"I even know how you felt when no one listened to you.
At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do.
I know you don't like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet;
Just remember the donkey I rode wasn't equipped with 21 speeds."

"I understand you don't like sweating, in fact it's something you hate;
I remember when I sweat blood from every pore, oh the agony was great!
I see you don't like your companion - you'd rather have someone else.
I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth."

"It's hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you.
I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews.
So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack.
I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back."

"Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day.
I guess when they pounded nails into mine, I ached in a similar way.
It's hard not to hear from home when your family's not there to see;
I lost my communication on the cross and cried, "Father, why hast Thou forsaken Me."

He embraced me with His arms, His light filled me with His love,
With tears in my eyes I watched as He went back to the Father above.
I stood with awe and wonder when a beep rang in my head,
I listened and heard the alarm, then realized I was in my bed.

My companion let out a groan, "6:30 already, no way!"
I sat up and said, "Come on, I'll even carry your scriptures today!"
No matter what we go through, when we feel we can't take more,
Just stop and think about Jesus Christ, He has been there before.

I miss andrew. Alot. Sometimes i think that he's lucky. He's away from all the world, all of his problems, no more school, and that i am the only one struggling because of his absence. But it must be tough for him too. thousands of miles away trying to proclaim the gospel, when just communicating is difficult. Love this poem though. Christ went through everything. Turn to him.

I am determined to become domesticated before college

In my rush to become self sufficient, i have been practicing my cooking skills. After all, how am i supposed to attract those boys while i'm in college, while also getting my freshman 15? Today was spent baking at my aunts. It was quite the lovely experience and i'm pleased to say my chocolate cravings for the day have been satisfied. Enjoy the pics :)

They were a bit distracting during the cooking process, but come on, when they look that cute, how can you not love them??

The adventures of making pretzel bites, we burned ourselves quite a bit but they were very yummy!

And here's the chocolate peanut butter cups!! mmmm deliciouso!

Cooking? check! Now all i need to learn is laundry, cleaning, washing, and overall skills needed to survive. Cooking is only a small step, but someday i'll figure all this out!

a joyous celebration

I have a cause. A cause to celebrate and scream joyfully into the air. After 3 tough years i finally accomplished my goal. I broke 20 at state! rough i know, not the best time. But running at state has never really been my forte, so i'm pretty proud. :) here i am, it's almost 1, but i don't want to sleep. I don't want this day to end. I wish i could just hold onto this feeling forever. I fought a good fight, i did my best, i didn't give up, and now i get to rest! yay!!

18 hours 13 minutes

Only 18 hours 13 minutes until cross country is over. done. 18 hours and 13 minutes until the most excruciating pain of my life. 3.1 miles. alot can happen in 3.1 miles. hopes, dream accomplished. pain, failure become your ghost, haunting you for the next 12 months. here's the catch. it's my last time. last 3.1. what will be the story?

lovin

fall is gorgeous. I go up into the canyon and am just amazed by the beauty around me. it's easy to take it for granted, being in utah we always have fall, the leaves always change colors, it happens every single year. But especially this year i've really tried to stop and look twice at this wonderful place i live. truly i am blessed that i live just minutes away from view like this.

Loves marcy :) she's adorable

Picnics are so cute. When i have a family of my own we are going to go up in the canyon and have a bar-b-que

for mutual we went to gardner villiage, it has the cutest things ever! i love it! I had so much fun, and i love being around these girls! Honestly we've gotten so close this year and i love them to death.

Footloose 2011! It was pretty good, and he is DANG cute in it! now i just need to watch the old one and see how it compares...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9rZJ1EcpfE&feature=share This song is BEAUTIFUL! i almost died when i heard it for the first time! love love love it. From footloose :)

Pleasing to the eye

This fall foliage around me is so pleasing to my eyes. Perhaps that it why i am in such a grand mood. We had a little run up in the canyon today, I was very delighted to find out that the unplanned snow from last week had not destroyed natures wonderful gift of colors during this lovely season. I even got to pick many colored leaves. I am dying with happiness. I love all the fall colors, they just compliment each other so well. Pictures will be available soon. Hopefully i can remember where i put my connector thing....

simple blessings

As life around me gets so very complicated, hard times come and go. And it's easy to get very stressed about the future. I love those simple little things that make life so great. Here's a few from today:

• Easy run, sometimes it really is great to just let your legs relax
• Being able to wear shorts and a t-shirt after school and not freeze your butt off
• Finding those old clothes you never wear but you can't bear to part with it, so you forgot it even existed until you found it and then simply had to wear it.
• Hugs, nothing is better than a huge hug when it's a cold day outside.
• mini golf, so much fun and requires practically no talent.
• reading a fabulous new book. I recommend The Help.
• studying for the ACT, relaxes my nerves for the upcoming test.
• Realizing that there is only 9 more days till state.
• sending letters to missionaries
• Seminary. Love it this year.
• Listening to 80s music. I'm a fan
• Seeing your "tighter than a fat man in spandex friend" Love it
• spending time with family. Love getting out of my house and visiting my dear auntie and uncle

So enjoy the day, and find those small treasures that make life so enjoyable. :)